my parents f ...
my parents found that i was a gay when i was 16.5 years old. ever since then i have been asked to "change" or "improve". i was lucky as i spent 4 years in uni in china and i came to sydney shortly after i graduated. so i spent very limited time living with my parents after i was "exposed" :p)) my family accepted my sexuality 5 or 6 years ago. though they still dream that one day i can change, however, they basically accepted whom i am. their acceptance did not come easily. i can not remember how many times i said "no, i will not marry." to my parents, nor would i forget that almost every night for the first one month or so, mum cried after mum and dad came to sydney and lived with my boyfriend and me in may 2000. but gradually mum became used to it and she stopped her daily "practice". on the chinese new year eve, i was having netmeeting call with my elder brother, mum and dad late at night. just then my bf came back home and he went close to me and hug me from behind. i guess that they must all see the two smiling faces that sticked together closely on their screen, however, suprise suprise, no critisizing, no complaint, no rejection at all! how did i successfully "change" the minds and attitudes of my family? i think there are two important parts: 1. be brave enough to let them know. the greatest pressure and biggest problem for many gay, is to expose himself to his family/friends. i believe for an adult gay, the earlier he walks out of the closet, the better the possible result. i spent almost 10 years "fighting with", "arguing with", or pursuading my parents. i can not imagine that i tell my father when she turned 70--it may well be too late as he may have a heart attack! 2. stick to your bottom line and don't give in to pressure from the outside. if you insist to be "single", then gradually they will start to suspect with possible reasons, and gradually, time will prove for them which suspection is the true reason. good luck guys in dealing with ur parents!