damien lu ： ...
damien lu ：
我父母已经去世多年了。找到community的关键，当然是自己要让别人知道性倾向，也就是要出柜。
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sorry to hear that. i wish to find my gay community and come out, however, the gay community i know is that the majority of community members are chasing for casual sex, looking for handsome guy, if a gay is not handsome, tall, muscle, full head of hair, masculine, open to sex, young, talkative, fashionable, will be looked down by gay community. so, i am really scared to come out and join gay community, there is huge discrimination in this community and really scary, isn't it?
you said it, "the gay community you know", that is not the entire community. do not believe what you know is the community. in reality, there are many gay communities in china and many are not aware of the existence of the others. not all gays frequent bars, hang out on hookup apps, etc. you need to broaden your social circle and get to know more, diverse people.
but one thing you said is true: coming out always carry some risk. you need to make sure you take measures to protect yourself.